Monday, 10 June 2013

Caribbean Buses

So there's this priest and the Caribbean bus driver who both 'pass on' and go to heaven. They wait outside of the glorious gates until an angel finally apparates. He greets the two men, asks them their names and then verifies that they're on his list. The two men are confirmed and they are signaled to follow the angel. After getting into a golf cart the angel then drives them along streets of gold to their new abodes. As they drive the houses along the road get bigger and bigger, grander and grander. 

The angel stops outside of this enormous mansion and welcomes the bus driver to his new home.

The bus driver in extreme excitement grabs his luggage and runs into his new mansion. 'Wow! If that's the house that man got, I can't even imagine what's in store for me! I being an ordained minister in the church!' the priest thinks to himself as the angel carries on driving along the streets of gold. However, as they drive the houses seem to get smaller and smaller, worse and worse-er-er. The angel then abruptly stop in front of a shack in the slums and tosses the priest's luggage out of the cart.

Trying to snap himself out of the shock the priest exclaims "B-but there must be a mistake!!! I AM A PRIEST!! That bus driver got a mansion! And this is what I, an ordained minister in the faith gets?!?! How could this be possible?!?"

The angel looks at the priest and says "Because that bus driver has brought more men to their knees than you ever have in all your years."

Moral of the (extremely long and drawn-out) story? Caribbean bus drivers are flipping insane and completely reckless. Now it would be very unfair to stereotype ALL Caribbean bus drivers as this, because some are genuinely really nice, but some should never be allowed to be behind a wheel, let alone transport people. Just like everyone who takes the public bus in the Caribbean, I have had one too many near death experiences on buses. And why is it that whenever I get onto a bus there is a homeless person next to me? Last time I was on a bus it was even worse, I had an ex-convict sitting next to me, and was yelling out to the uninterested passengers about his life story. About all the women (by women I actually mean 15 year old girls) he had raped and people he had stabbed, and the 'different kind of love' he received in prison. Needless to say I felt very uncomfortable sitting right in front of him.

By the way, for my non-Caribbean readers, maybe you don't know what our public transport looks like. Well it definitely does not look like this...

Or this...

But more like this...

Never has there been a picture that captures its essence so perfectly.

Don't get me wrong though, I've definitely grown to appreciate the Caribbean public transportation system. I used to hate it before, now I just mildly hate it. Which is a big improvement. Once you know how it works it can be extremely useful and reliable, and you can walk away with quite some experiences after.

Anyway I hope you enjoyed reading this article! Sorry that I have not been consistent, been really busy. I'll do better though! Please share, like and tweet it, and tell as many people about it as you can and I'll love you forever! Sign up to get an email subscription as to when a new article comes out, which will be next week! Please comment down below any horrible public bus experiences that you have had!


  1. Amazing as usual
    Where did u get that pic with goat in the bus loool
    You would not believe that just the other day i sat by a mad woman on a bus, why in the world would a bus driver allow a mad person to enter the bus i don't know, but anyways she was telling every single person she saw walking by "lets go for our medicine", she sang songs, cursed,and did everything that would scare someone. when she left i was just thankful that I survived.

    1. Thanks Dillan! :D Wow! That's a really freaky experience!


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