Nasty Girls

Oh how I loathe nasty girls. I mean they're funny to watch. From a distance, but who wants to honestly interact with them? Now fortunately  I have been able to cleverly avoid them and keep this unwanted interaction to a minimum. But I just want to tell you about an experience I had with some nasty girls once.

So it was just my older brother, my friend Ethan and myself. Now this was Ethan's first time to the Caribbean, so naturally, I want to show him the best time ever, and as it was his first day in St. Lucia he was still very impressionable, and the impression he got of Caribbean females was 'less than appealing' to say the least...

So we were at the bus stop waiting for our ride to take us back home after a nice long day of water sports. Unfortunately the nearby school for 'less than amazing' kids had just been dismissed  and in a matter of seconds the whole surrounding area would be absolutely flooded with juvenile delinquents. Which made me very very anxious as these were the same set of delinquents that held me up once, mugged me and then threatened to stab me. So we don't exactly have a good history together. However we were in the end of the terminal and thankfully the whole crowd loitered in the front, and left us alone.

Now I was just standing up there when it just so happened that I heard some dogs barking. I ignored it but the barking continued and it got louder and louder as it got closer and closer, up to a point where I could of swore it actually sounded like words. So I turn around only to see these four girls galloping towards us. Ugly as sin.

The second I heard one say "I WUT DAT WUN! I WUNT DAT WUN AS MY MUN!" while she pointed to Ethan I knew this wouldn't go down well. Why? Of all times and places? Why us?! One thing I have to say about Ethan though is that he is very good for himself. Don't think I've ever met a dude stronger and as crazy as him. He could wrestle a bear... and it's family and win of course. But the thing about him is that he is so unassuming, so kudos to the person that tries to pick a fight with him. Unfortunately he didn't round-house kick all those girls in one go, he just ignored them and told them to buzz off. Which is exactly what my brother Thomas (Who is also very good for himself) did as well. 

However, me being the ever polite gentleman I am, actually took them on.

Yeah I know. I actually encouraged them to pester me. Why James did you have to converse with them? Lord only knows. It went like this though...

Slag: A BOii I LIKE YOUR EYES UH
         (Hello, excuse me Sir, has anyone ever said how captivating your eyes are? I really do admire them)

Me: Oh, why thank you... I like your... So how are you doing?

Slag: *Tongue pops* I GUD UH. I JUS DEH LUKIN FOR A MUN FOR TUNITE. YUH INTRUSTED?  (I'm good thank you. Just looking for a man to engage in some promiscuous activities tonight. Would you be interested in going with me?)

Me: Ummm That's very kind of you to offer, but I'll have to pass. 

SLAG: WUH WRONG MUN? YUH CYAH HUNDEL ALL DIS OR WAT?
           (What's wrong Sir? Are you not able handle all of this or what?)

Me: Oh, no, it's not that... I'm just busy tonight 'tis all.

Slag: NEX TYME MY BOii NEX TYME. SO WEN U LEEVIN DEN?
         (Oh okay then, maybe next time? So when will you be leaving the country?)

Me: Oh no, I live here.

Slag: WAT?? NEX WIK?
         (I beg your pardon, I did not hear what you said)

Me: No, I live here!

Slag: NEX WIK?
         (Next week?)

Me: ... Yes, I'll be leaving next week.

Slag: AH AH MY BOii. LEMME TAKE YOR NUMBA *Turns around to other slag friend* AYE! LA QUISHAH, WEH MI FONE?!
       (Oh sorry to hear that, that's so soon! Hope you enjoyed your stay here though. Hold on a second, let me just get your telephone number. Excuse me La Quishah, have you seen my phone anywhere?)

Other Slag Friend: I DOH NOH UH. AN MI BLUKBURY DONG
                                (Sorry, but I have not seen it, and my blackberry is down too)

Me: Oh well, what a shame.

Slag: ENYWAY I WELL HONGREY DEH, LEMME GO LUK FOR SOM FOOD TO KONG
          (Anyway, I am very famished. I'll have to go look for some food to eat)

Me: *Praise the Lord* Oh? Leaving already? That's a shame, hopefully I'll get to see you before I 'leave'

                                 End of Dialogue

Those girls then went on to harass the really nice hot dog lady that was near-by. In fact that hot dog lady waved her knife at the girls because they were verbally and physically harassing her, *unfortunately* she didn't do anything and they girls eventually left *me emotionally scarred*.

Hope you enjoyed reading this article! Please share, like and tweet it, and tell as many people about it as you can and I'll love you forever! Sign up to get an email subscription as to when a new article comes out, which will be next week when I talk about how I almost got stabbed by those delinquents! Please comment down below any suggestions you have as to what you'll need when coming to the Caribbean!